9/5/08

Major cravings

I visited some relatives over the holiday who do not have my problem saying no to starch.  They have an entire pantry full of foods that haunt my dreams: donuts, cookies, pastries, chips, crackers... it would have been a disastrous weekend had it not been for these wires.  They saved me untold amounts of misery and self-loathing.  

My weight is now 173 - a 12 pound loss since starting on August 1.  I am having some pretty intense cravings this week, but that's just due to my monthly cycle.  I stopped doing the intermittent fasting over the holiday, and still haven't started back up again.  But I truly think that's part of why I lost almost 5 more pounds since getting rewired.  I'll try to wait till 7 today to eat, but damn!  These cravings are making it hard.  

I am already pretty tired of the taste of protein shakes - what I am craving madly is some REAL PROTEIN!  A burger with cheese, baked chicken with crispy brown skin, hell - even a hot dog sounds good right now!  That's probably the hardest thing about being wired: your protein has to come in the form of a powder or liquid, which means it'll most likely be something SWEET.  I have been making beef bullion and melting some butter into it, just for that kind of rich, hearty flavor.  I've never been a big fan of soup, but I may have to make an exception while I'm wired.  I love lobster bisque, but of course I have to strain it so it's smooth.  Sigh.  I miss so many flavors, it makes me wonder if I will want to go crazy eating when I'm finally unwired.  I'm a little scared about it. 

Some observations:

I barely even know the wires are there.  Speaking is no problem at all and the brackets are not rubbing the inside of my mouth the way they were when I was unwired.  My mouth is very comfortable the way it's set, and again, the only thing I'm finding difficult is coughing and clearing my throat.  I am prone to allergies in the autumn months, so it could get ugly, what with having to clear my throat a lot.  Hello liquid Benadryl!

I think I have a slight milk intolerance.  I mixed some with a protein shake and hours later my bowels were telling me they didn't like it.  Odd, because I can eat pretty much anything else that's dairy: cheese, ice cream, yogurt, cottage cheese... just drinking the actual liquid itself was the problem.  I guess I'll just have to stick with heavy cream and water in my shakes.

I have way more energy this month than I did when I started.  Losing even 10 pounds makes it feel like I'm so much lighter!  I no longer trudge up the stairs panting, and I even started working out a little.  Ug, but I still haven't done any real cardio.  Why can't I make myself get on my treadmill??  I would rather do squats and lunges than do even ten minutes of walking.  I know I need to start doing it regularly, but maybe I'll take baby steps - a couple weeks of weight training to get me in the right frame of mind, then I'll ease into a treadmill routine.

My clothes are ever-so-slightly more comfortable.  I was busting out of them when I started because I refused to buy anything bigger than a size 14, and at 185, I was certainly not a comfortable size 14 anymore.  I will be delighted when I get down to 165 because that was the weight that eluded me every time I started dieting in the last couple years.  I was stuck between 167 and 170 for so long, then the bingeing really started and I soared up to 185 really quickly.  I have a ton of clothes that I miss wearing.  I'm really tired of the same frumpy crap I've been wearing since I had a baby almost 2 years ago.

My face is thinner and my rolls are smaller.  It's quite disheartening to realize you have major back fat.  I tried with some success not to notice it in my mirror, but I couldn't help seeing it in full color in a picture taken during our July vacation.  Gross.  Embarrassing.  But soon to be gone.


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